I was radical, sold out, living for God with everything I had. I had been an alcoholic and God saved me. I literally owed Him my life.
When I was 32, I quit my job as an attorney in Tallahassee, Florida, and left my townhouse-on-a-golf-course life and went to China to share Jesus.
I wanted deeper relationship with Jesus. I ran after Him with all my heart. I studied the Bible. I taught Bible studies. People began to come to me to help them understand the Bible and Christian life.
Fast forward to over a decade later, I was in in Hong Kong, and I was floundering. When I thought about myself all I could see was my weaknesses and failures. I was insecure and defensive.
And when I looked at others what I noticed first was their flaws and mistakes. I struggled with relationships and was ashamed of my behavior. This wasn’t what Christianity was supposed to be. Where was my love? Why was I so negative? Why couldn’t I just enjoy people? Why couldn’t I enjoy my own life?
I was eating from the wrong tree.
God Placed Two Trees in the Garden of Eden
Genesis 2:8-9 (NLT) There were many trees in the garden, but only two are named: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
Did you notice that they were both in the center of the garden?
These two trees represent the two the two basic paradigms for looking at and living life. A paradigm is a unique way of seeing and understanding something – a perspective. Each of us chooses one or the other: the tree of life or the tree of knowledge. Our choice becomes the center of our thinking, the paradigm that we use to perceive, understand and make meaning of life. Our choice will determine how we see, understand, feel, think and act.
The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil
Genesis 3:1-8
Satan didn’t make Eve sin. Yes, he lied to her, but it was her evil desire to “be like God” that led to her disobedience. Adam too.
Adam and Eve died that day – spiritually. Their sin separated them from the life-giving relationship they had with God. And they discovered that: Life doesn’t come from knowledge. Life comes only from a relationship with God.
The Tree of Life
John 17:3 (TPT), Isaiah 59:2 (EXB), Ephesians 2:1 (NLT)
The tree of life that once was in the Garden of Eden is no longer there. Our tree of life is the Cross of Jesus. Through the cross we enter into life-giving relationship with God through Jesus, the way to God, the only way. John 14:6 (NIV)
The first Adam chose the tree of knowledge and brought death to all mankind. The second Adam, Jesus, chose the tree of life: the cross and gave life to all mankind.
Acts 5:30 (NKJV), Galatians 3:13 (NLT)
Through faith in Jesus, our lives are joined with His. Galatians 2:20 (TPT)
Back to My Story
Remember, I was in Hong Kong and floundering. Where was my love? Why was I so judgmental? Why couldn’t I just enjoy people? Why couldn’t I enjoy my own life?
In my zeal, I had made knowledge of the Bible my paradigm.
I was a born-again Christian. But I had chosen the tree of knowledge of good and evil as my worldview – my way of seeing and understanding life. I saw Christianity first and foremost as a search for truth.
Everyone and everything was evaluated through this lens. I evaluated every sermon. Was that message right or wrong? I judged people. And myself. A knowledge paradigm reduces Christianity to a true/false test. And you become the judge. I was constantly looking to find what was wrong with myself, with family, friends, my church, etc.
Finally, I Learned about grace.
Jesus initiates relationship with us by forgiving us. By Grace.
The cross, the tree of life, made that possible. And Jesus continues our relationship with Him in the same way. We sin. He continues to love us. And He forgives us again.
Grace in the New Testament writings is the Greek word “charis” which means “good will, loving-kindness, favour.” (N.T. Greek Lexicon NAS) See Ephesians 2:4-6
I finally understood. God’s grace is greater than any failure, any weakness, any sin I or anyone else will ever commit. Grace is God’s righteousness for everyone who is “in Christ.” Grace is Jesus saying, “you’re weak, here take my My strength. You sinned. Here is my blood to wash away your sin.”
James 2:13 But mercy triumphs over justice.
Truth is important, but love is more important. Jesus’ tree of life (the cross) triumphs over the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Mercy triumphs over justice.
Grace is undeserved, unmerited favor. Grace is forgiveness – again and again. Grace is loving people in their brokenness and in their sin. Grace is loving people who don’t deserve love and won’t love you in return.
I forgave myself for my flaws. I forgave others for their flaws and offenses. And I asked Jesus to help me see and love people the way He does. And over the many years since, He has helped me see people through His eyes of love. And that has changed everything!
Activation: How to give grace to the difficult people in your life.